you learn as you go.
And now you all have that song in your head š
I wish I had something positive to say about feeling like
crap, but I donāt have it in me today. I kind of feel like Iām living this
secret life amongst my own life, a life that involves parasite cleansing. Itās
the most non-glamorous thing one can do, or at least up there on the list. Itās
straight up gross. And I feel certain very few want to hear about it, so thatās
why itās a secret. And the fact that most probably think itās bananas and
possibly made up. Itās not, I promise you that. Iāve survived two cycles of
Ivermectin and one full day of Praziquantel. And as promised, I felt worse
during those times. It took me a good three days to recover from Praziquantel.
But they did what they were supposed to do, help kill liver flukes, worms, and
who knows what else. And if you recognize the medication names, itās probably because
you once gave it to your pet to get rid of their parasites.
crap, but I donāt have it in me today. I kind of feel like Iām living this
secret life amongst my own life, a life that involves parasite cleansing. Itās
the most non-glamorous thing one can do, or at least up there on the list. Itās
straight up gross. And I feel certain very few want to hear about it, so thatās
why itās a secret. And the fact that most probably think itās bananas and
possibly made up. Itās not, I promise you that. Iāve survived two cycles of
Ivermectin and one full day of Praziquantel. And as promised, I felt worse
during those times. It took me a good three days to recover from Praziquantel.
But they did what they were supposed to do, help kill liver flukes, worms, and
who knows what else. And if you recognize the medication names, itās probably because
you once gave it to your pet to get rid of their parasites.
Some of the of the unpleasant side effects include terrible
headaches (from the ammonia the parasites give off when they die), itching,
(more) fatigue, (increased) muscle pain, breakouts, nausea, and abdominal pain,
to name a few. These arenāt new issues for me, but I will say that I had made a
lot of progress in some of these areas in the past few months. So thereās times
when it feel as though Iām going backwards. But I wonāt get forward momentum
without it. The Ivermectin is the worst for headaches and daily spurts of
feeling like I might keel over from gut pain. It makes senseā¦ everything has to
make its way through the intestines at some point. The good news is that it
passes. So once it starts I just remind myself that in a few hours Iāll feel
better. The headaches, not as easy to wish away. Sometimes increasing my
binders (supplement that helps bind everything to get it out of your system)
helps, but sometimes it doesnāt. During cycle 2, my doctor suggested adding in
another supplement called Mimosa Pudica. Itās literally just mimosa pudica seed
ground up in a capsule, itās predominantly found in India. When itās mixed with
water it becomes a gelatinous, sticky gut scrubber. And it does just that, it
pulls out unwanted gunk out of your intestinal tract. Iāve taken this for
chunks of time before and my body has a hard time with it. But, itās a new
month and you just never know how it will react this go around. The thought was
that it would help with some symptoms since it would be pulling more out. Since
I knew this, I gave the initial discomfort a pass. As I kept going it got more
and more challenging. So I took a few days off of it to try and rest and
delayed the third Ivermectin cycle a day to give myself more time. So last
Wednesday evening I took the Ivermectin to start up round 3. Thursday morning I
was in a positive mindset and decided to give the mimosa pudica another go. Well,
things took a bad turn. I felt so insanely sick to my stomach I didnāt know
what to do with myself. Within twenty minutes of taking it I was miserable. I
tried the āit will passā mantra over and over. I guess the mantra worked in a
senseā¦ I just puked everything up. But I neglected to feel that relief you
sometimes feel after getting it out of your system. It was more like a cloud of
doom and what in the world just happened?
So I got in contact with my doctor and he advised to stop all supplements
except the oxygen, minerals, and mitoATP for a few days to let my body heal.
This was the first day since my return back to work that I had to call in to
take a few hours off unplanned. But hey, I made it three months! I called into
a morning meeting from home and I got myself into the office by noon. There is
no shortage of persistence on my part. I took a few days off as prescribed and
started up the Ivermectin again last night. I will have a one day break and
then do a day of Praziquantel.
headaches (from the ammonia the parasites give off when they die), itching,
(more) fatigue, (increased) muscle pain, breakouts, nausea, and abdominal pain,
to name a few. These arenāt new issues for me, but I will say that I had made a
lot of progress in some of these areas in the past few months. So thereās times
when it feel as though Iām going backwards. But I wonāt get forward momentum
without it. The Ivermectin is the worst for headaches and daily spurts of
feeling like I might keel over from gut pain. It makes senseā¦ everything has to
make its way through the intestines at some point. The good news is that it
passes. So once it starts I just remind myself that in a few hours Iāll feel
better. The headaches, not as easy to wish away. Sometimes increasing my
binders (supplement that helps bind everything to get it out of your system)
helps, but sometimes it doesnāt. During cycle 2, my doctor suggested adding in
another supplement called Mimosa Pudica. Itās literally just mimosa pudica seed
ground up in a capsule, itās predominantly found in India. When itās mixed with
water it becomes a gelatinous, sticky gut scrubber. And it does just that, it
pulls out unwanted gunk out of your intestinal tract. Iāve taken this for
chunks of time before and my body has a hard time with it. But, itās a new
month and you just never know how it will react this go around. The thought was
that it would help with some symptoms since it would be pulling more out. Since
I knew this, I gave the initial discomfort a pass. As I kept going it got more
and more challenging. So I took a few days off of it to try and rest and
delayed the third Ivermectin cycle a day to give myself more time. So last
Wednesday evening I took the Ivermectin to start up round 3. Thursday morning I
was in a positive mindset and decided to give the mimosa pudica another go. Well,
things took a bad turn. I felt so insanely sick to my stomach I didnāt know
what to do with myself. Within twenty minutes of taking it I was miserable. I
tried the āit will passā mantra over and over. I guess the mantra worked in a
senseā¦ I just puked everything up. But I neglected to feel that relief you
sometimes feel after getting it out of your system. It was more like a cloud of
doom and what in the world just happened?
So I got in contact with my doctor and he advised to stop all supplements
except the oxygen, minerals, and mitoATP for a few days to let my body heal.
This was the first day since my return back to work that I had to call in to
take a few hours off unplanned. But hey, I made it three months! I called into
a morning meeting from home and I got myself into the office by noon. There is
no shortage of persistence on my part. I took a few days off as prescribed and
started up the Ivermectin again last night. I will have a one day break and
then do a day of Praziquantel.
The tricky part about being sick that goes beyond the actual
challenge of being sickā¦ is that you later continually feel punished for
getting sick in the first place. Take
care of yourself, we care about youā¦ but donāt worry, you will suffer
consequences later. This is a sad reality. Between insurance, career,
relationships, etc. ā¦ there are consequences. And sometimes you just want to
yell some swear words. And Iāve never been much for swearing. But sometimes
these situations bring out the worst in you. Or is it the best? Ha! Sometimes
my friends are shocked to see me get so fired up!
challenge of being sickā¦ is that you later continually feel punished for
getting sick in the first place. Take
care of yourself, we care about youā¦ but donāt worry, you will suffer
consequences later. This is a sad reality. Between insurance, career,
relationships, etc. ā¦ there are consequences. And sometimes you just want to
yell some swear words. And Iāve never been much for swearing. But sometimes
these situations bring out the worst in you. Or is it the best? Ha! Sometimes
my friends are shocked to see me get so fired up!
I have been without my typical coping mechanism, floating,
for over two months now. Thereās definitely been a few times when I think it would
have really turned things around for me. Though I also feel like Iām handling
it better than I thought I would. This has confirmed that I have in fact made
progress. I also owe some of this to reading. Itās been my new coping mechanism
to get through the bad days. I escape to another world and can take a break
from how Iām feeling. Iāve also started drinking this cup of magic they call
Happy Coffee (or Happy Chocolate). It helps to balance your hormones, which results
in better mood and energy. Itās not always foolproof for me, but itās
definitely made my life easier to manage! Itās from a company called Elevacity.
If anyone is interested I can connect you with a rep.
for over two months now. Thereās definitely been a few times when I think it would
have really turned things around for me. Though I also feel like Iām handling
it better than I thought I would. This has confirmed that I have in fact made
progress. I also owe some of this to reading. Itās been my new coping mechanism
to get through the bad days. I escape to another world and can take a break
from how Iām feeling. Iāve also started drinking this cup of magic they call
Happy Coffee (or Happy Chocolate). It helps to balance your hormones, which results
in better mood and energy. Itās not always foolproof for me, but itās
definitely made my life easier to manage! Itās from a company called Elevacity.
If anyone is interested I can connect you with a rep.
My doctor and I recently had more discussion around my
persistent neck pain. As some of you know, I was in an ATV accident when I was
14. This is mostly known for the infamous two broken arms at once. He had me
send over my MRI results from a few years ago. When I initially did them there
wasnāt much concern surrounding the findings. Some bulges and herniation, but
was told they can heal with time. What wasnāt brought to my attention was that
I have reversal of cervical lordosis. My neck has lost its natural curvatureā¦
itās likely more straight. This can happen from injuries such as being in an
ATV accident. The kicker is that not all practitioners recognize this as an
actual issue. Though there have been studies done that show it can put people
at risk for nerve, ligament, and muscle function. And ultimately lead to a
number of health-related issues. This is because the spinal cord is the highway
of communication in the body. Impact in route can disrupt the exchange of
information in the body. Think of how important the gut/brain connection is.
The spine is crucial in that connection. The good news is that there
are tools and exercises to help correct cervical curvature. So yay for me! This
also means more work for me. But still, so glad there is a way to address this
that isnāt invasive or risky.
persistent neck pain. As some of you know, I was in an ATV accident when I was
14. This is mostly known for the infamous two broken arms at once. He had me
send over my MRI results from a few years ago. When I initially did them there
wasnāt much concern surrounding the findings. Some bulges and herniation, but
was told they can heal with time. What wasnāt brought to my attention was that
I have reversal of cervical lordosis. My neck has lost its natural curvatureā¦
itās likely more straight. This can happen from injuries such as being in an
ATV accident. The kicker is that not all practitioners recognize this as an
actual issue. Though there have been studies done that show it can put people
at risk for nerve, ligament, and muscle function. And ultimately lead to a
number of health-related issues. This is because the spinal cord is the highway
of communication in the body. Impact in route can disrupt the exchange of
information in the body. Think of how important the gut/brain connection is.
The spine is crucial in that connection. The good news is that there
are tools and exercises to help correct cervical curvature. So yay for me! This
also means more work for me. But still, so glad there is a way to address this
that isnāt invasive or risky.
Though some of this sounds quite glum, I can assure you Iāve
still come leaps and bounds from where I was. An obvious oneā¦ I do go to work
everyday. Iāve been working 30-32 hours a week. It seems to be a decent balance
for me. Doesnāt come without challenges here and there, but persistence! I do
enjoy interacting with people and having projects to focus on, which is good
for me. Though I definitely canāt claim to be supermom, Iām definitely gaining
some ground in that department. I no longer have fear about picking up the kids
at the end of the day. Or fear of being alone with them for hours at a time. It
helps that they are the ages theyāre at. Theyāre more independent and help with
things around the house. I mostly fall short in the active play category. As
bad as I want to kick the soccer ball around with Theodore, itās typically not
worth the aftermath. Though, I have my moments when Iāll ignore all rational
and just do it! One of my favorite days as of late was the day of Theodoreās
Kindergarten picnic. It was a lovely, hot day. I joined him for lunch/play at
the park and then later volunteered to blow bubbles at their school
walk-a-thon. I was just so overjoyed to be a normal mom being there for my son
and partaking in a school activity. It literally brings tears to my eyes as I
type this. Most of you will not understand this at all, but for me itās a big
deal. I crashed hard when I got home that afternoon. But it was the kind that
included a satisfactory glow because it was so fun and so worth it. My mom took
the kids that night so Ben and I could have some time to us. Over the winter we
had made effort to go on a date at least once a month. Once I got back to work
this came to a halt. Mostly due to the fact that I had nothing left to give after
a week full of work and activities and that annoying reality of a budget.
Recovering from months off of work and continuing health care is challenging.
Anyhow, Ben and I took the time to just wander around town. I wasnāt going to
let my exhaustion and some aches ruin my great day. We checked out some
sculptures in town, stopped by the river, Ben took some photos (obviously), and
then we stopped at Number 4 for a small bite to eat. I think we literally just
ordered a beer (for Ben) and cauliflower (for me). Iām sure itās really common for
people to order cauliflower at 9:30pm š My point beingā¦ there are great
moments and days tucked in amongst the challenges. And they donāt go unnoticed.
still come leaps and bounds from where I was. An obvious oneā¦ I do go to work
everyday. Iāve been working 30-32 hours a week. It seems to be a decent balance
for me. Doesnāt come without challenges here and there, but persistence! I do
enjoy interacting with people and having projects to focus on, which is good
for me. Though I definitely canāt claim to be supermom, Iām definitely gaining
some ground in that department. I no longer have fear about picking up the kids
at the end of the day. Or fear of being alone with them for hours at a time. It
helps that they are the ages theyāre at. Theyāre more independent and help with
things around the house. I mostly fall short in the active play category. As
bad as I want to kick the soccer ball around with Theodore, itās typically not
worth the aftermath. Though, I have my moments when Iāll ignore all rational
and just do it! One of my favorite days as of late was the day of Theodoreās
Kindergarten picnic. It was a lovely, hot day. I joined him for lunch/play at
the park and then later volunteered to blow bubbles at their school
walk-a-thon. I was just so overjoyed to be a normal mom being there for my son
and partaking in a school activity. It literally brings tears to my eyes as I
type this. Most of you will not understand this at all, but for me itās a big
deal. I crashed hard when I got home that afternoon. But it was the kind that
included a satisfactory glow because it was so fun and so worth it. My mom took
the kids that night so Ben and I could have some time to us. Over the winter we
had made effort to go on a date at least once a month. Once I got back to work
this came to a halt. Mostly due to the fact that I had nothing left to give after
a week full of work and activities and that annoying reality of a budget.
Recovering from months off of work and continuing health care is challenging.
Anyhow, Ben and I took the time to just wander around town. I wasnāt going to
let my exhaustion and some aches ruin my great day. We checked out some
sculptures in town, stopped by the river, Ben took some photos (obviously), and
then we stopped at Number 4 for a small bite to eat. I think we literally just
ordered a beer (for Ben) and cauliflower (for me). Iām sure itās really common for
people to order cauliflower at 9:30pm š My point beingā¦ there are great
moments and days tucked in amongst the challenges. And they donāt go unnoticed.
So as Iāve notedā¦ physical activity is still a challenge.
Before starting back at work I had gotten into a good routine at the gym. I was
so happy to be moving again even if it was slow and basic. This became
difficult to manage once I was back at work. I would squeeze in a walk here or
there, but I was definitely feeling down about the drop off in activity. I only
have so many spoons each day, so I had to prioritize. Just last week I decided
I needed to walk every day, even if itās just a few blocks. As long as itās
something! The motivator to my success is my mini-me, Violet! From the day she
was born she has been my walking buddy. She has always loved the stroller and
being outside. So this has become our new ritual. Even though sheās 4, she
still loves a good stroller ride. One of her favorite things to do is stop by
the nearby Little Free Library. Then sheāll usually hop out and push the
stroller the rest of the way home, sometimes with her baby doll in tow.
Theodore sometimes joins our walks, but is a bit more high maintenance if it
doesnāt involve going to the park.
Before starting back at work I had gotten into a good routine at the gym. I was
so happy to be moving again even if it was slow and basic. This became
difficult to manage once I was back at work. I would squeeze in a walk here or
there, but I was definitely feeling down about the drop off in activity. I only
have so many spoons each day, so I had to prioritize. Just last week I decided
I needed to walk every day, even if itās just a few blocks. As long as itās
something! The motivator to my success is my mini-me, Violet! From the day she
was born she has been my walking buddy. She has always loved the stroller and
being outside. So this has become our new ritual. Even though sheās 4, she
still loves a good stroller ride. One of her favorite things to do is stop by
the nearby Little Free Library. Then sheāll usually hop out and push the
stroller the rest of the way home, sometimes with her baby doll in tow.
Theodore sometimes joins our walks, but is a bit more high maintenance if it
doesnāt involve going to the park.
Violet also loves to go to the library with me. Weāll gather
stacks too heavy to carry and devour all of them at home. Though, if thereās a Pinkalicious title, she will demand it
be read every night no matter how many other books there are to choose from! I
also came up with the brilliant idea of having them help with juicing. They
actually make the process more enjoyable for me, which is a huge bonus! Theodore
finished up Kindergarten last week. This made me sadder than I thought it
would. Heās now a first grader! Itās still sinking in. He had such a fantastic
year and Iām in awe of how much heās grown in maturity, personality, and
intellect! Thatās obviously what theyāre supposed to do, but Iām still amazed
by it. Sitting down and listening to him read a book makes my heart burst. It only
took about 8 months, but he now will tell me he loves reading. Heās doing
summer camp again at the Y this year. I can hardly wait to hear about his days
full of adventure.
stacks too heavy to carry and devour all of them at home. Though, if thereās a Pinkalicious title, she will demand it
be read every night no matter how many other books there are to choose from! I
also came up with the brilliant idea of having them help with juicing. They
actually make the process more enjoyable for me, which is a huge bonus! Theodore
finished up Kindergarten last week. This made me sadder than I thought it
would. Heās now a first grader! Itās still sinking in. He had such a fantastic
year and Iām in awe of how much heās grown in maturity, personality, and
intellect! Thatās obviously what theyāre supposed to do, but Iām still amazed
by it. Sitting down and listening to him read a book makes my heart burst. It only
took about 8 months, but he now will tell me he loves reading. Heās doing
summer camp again at the Y this year. I can hardly wait to hear about his days
full of adventure.
Thanks for reading and your continued support in this
journey.
journey.
Ashlee
